It's been a long time since I rock and rolled
by olgreeneyes
Summary: A short MWPP argument about classic rock.  Learn a little, laugh a little, review a little.
1. LennonMcCartney

"I'm just saying," said James Potter as he trudged up the stairs with his best friend, Sirius Black, "there were four Beatles and there are four of us. I think this is fate."

"Alright, if we're going to be the Beatles, then I'm Paul!" Sirius proclaimed.

"No, wait! You can't be Paul! Paul's the pretty one! _I'm_ supposed to be Paul!" James yelled.

"No, Paul's the pretty one and that's why _I'm_ supposed to be Paul!" Sirius argued.

"No, I'm Paul!"

"I'm Paul!"

"I'm Paul!"

"I'm P—"

"Hey, why can't I be Paul?" asked their friend Remus Lupin, who had just caught up to them. James and Sirius looked him up and down before exchanging glances and shaking their heads.

"Sorry Moony," said Sirius, "you can't be Paul."

"You're George," James supplied. Remus was a bit upset at this.

"George?!" he repeated.

"You know, the strong silent type," said James. "Hard worker and all that."

"Some chicks really dig that," Sirius offered. Remus thought about this.

"Alright, I'm George," he agreed. "But Peter's Ringo."

"What?!" called Peter Pettigrew, wheezing up to where the boys now stood on a landing. "I'm not Ringo! If anything, I'm Paul!" The other three boys laughed at this.

"You can't be Paul," said Sirius. "I'm Paul."

"No, you're not!" James shrieked like a little girl.

"What's going on here?" asked Lily Evans, walking up to the four boys.

"Lily, am I Paul or John?" James asked desperately, turning to see her.

"He's John, I'm Paul, Moony's George and Wormtail's Ringo," Sirius told her.

"I'm not Ringo!" said Peter shrilly, but no one noticed him.

"I'm George because he's the strong, silent type that chicks really dig," Remus told her.

"And Padfoot's not Paul, I am!" James finished. Lily nodded in mock understanding, but was still very overwhelmed by the situation.

"Well," she started, "I agree with Sirius." James gasped and Sirius whooped. "James is John because he's the leader and he brought you all together."

"Wait, no," said Sirius, stopping his victory dance suddenly. "_I'm_ the leader, _I_ should be John."

"No," said James triumphantly. "An un-biased source has proclaimed that _I_ am John. Sorry Paul!"

"Un-biased my foot! She's you're bloody girlfriend!" Sirius grumbled.

"Hey! I thought you _wanted_ to be Paul!" Lily said.

"Whatever, _Yoko_," he said under his breath.

"How dare you!" she screamed, drawing out her wand.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said James, stepping between the two. "Tell you what, Padfoot, you can be John and I'll be Paul." He turned to Lily, "And then you're Linda, hmm? The Lovely Linda?" Lily glared at Sirius one more time (who stuck his tongue out at her) and lowered her wand.

"Fine. I'm Linda," she agreed ruefully.

"Now that we've got that all sorted out—" said Remus, who was cut off by Peter.

"No, we DON'T!" he yelled.

"Shut up Ringo," said Sirius as they entered the portrait hole.


	2. Who?

"Okay, that makes sense, but what about the Rolling Stones?" James asked.

"The who?" Remus asked.

"No, not the Who," James shook his head, "the Rolling Stones! You know, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards! The Who is like Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend. Like _Tommy_."

"What?" Sirius asked, very confused.

"Who!" James almost yelled in frustration.

"Okay then, who?" Sirius repeated, still bewildered.

"Exactly," said James, crossing his arms in satisfaction.

"My head hurts," Peter moaned and sat on the floor with his head between his hands. Lily bent down and patted him on the back.

"James, I am never showing you any more rock and roll ever again," she scolded.

"What? Why?" he asked.

"But I thought it was who!" Remus demanded.

"How so?" James asked.

"Where!" Sirius chimed in. Everyone looked at him.

"What?" he asked. "I wanted to feel involved."

"Lils, you make these idiots understand!" James said with an impatient wave of his hand. Lily rolled her eyes and explained.

"The Rolling Stones are a band that sort of rival the Beatles. They're supposedly more hard-core, but I think both are good. They're a little different from the Beatles in that they don't really switch instruments or singers too much. A man named Mick Jagger is the singer and he writes songs with Keith Richards, who also plays lead guitar. Originally, Brian Jones also played guitar, but he got a little too druggy and had to drop out so they replaced him with Mick Taylor who originally played bass. There is also Ian Stewart who played piano, Bill Wyman and Charlie Watts on drums."

The Marauders stared at her for a whole minute before speaking.

"You just named like 20 people," said Sirius. "There are only four of us."

"Just seven," said Lily, "but I see your point."

"How do you know all this?" asked James incredulously. "Am I dating an encyclopedia?" Lily rolled her eyes again.

"I like music, so sue me," she grumbled.

"Are they Irish?" Peter piped in.

"I--what?" Lily was flabbergasted.

"Well they're named McJagger and McTaylor. Do they have first names or are they like Cher?" he clarified.

"No, Mick," Lily said. "Like M-I-C-K. It's a name."

"Well the point stands that there's still not enough of us to be them," said Remus.

"Agreed," said Lily with a nod. "So the other thing Jamie--"

"You let her call you Jamie?" Sirius snickered and James blushed. "You don't even let your mother call you Jamie."

"I--" James started. "I--"

"Nice defense there, Prongs," Sirius punched his friend lightly in the arm. "I know a man who is whipped by his woman when I see it."

"I am not whipped!" James protested.

"I am not _his woman_!" Lily screamed at the same time as the two shot each other death looks. Remus, sensing an argument coming on, interrupted with a loud cough.

"I'm sorry, Lily, but what were you saying?" he asked.

"Right, the other thing that _James_" she emphasized his full name and James nodded "was talking about is another band, called the Who. They're sort of a combination of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles. The singer Roger Daltrey and the guitarist Pete Townshend write most of the songs, while John Entwistle plays bass and Keith Moon drums."

"Yes, but who is Tommy?" Sirius asked.

"Tommy?" Lily repeated. "That's the name of an album of theirs. A concept album."

"A concept album? Does that mean it never really existed?" Peter asked. "I am really bad at philosophical mumbo-jumbo."

"No," said Lily with a laugh. "A concept album is an album where they pretend to be someone else. Like Sgt. Pepper's!"

"Why would you want to be someone else?" James wondered aloud. Lily shrugged.

"It supposedly helps them break out of their creative shells or something. So instead of being John, Paul, George and Ringo--"

"HA! She said me first!" Sirius cut in.

"--they can be Sgt. Pepper and his band of lonely hearts. Or instead of being Roger, Pete, John and Keith, they can be Tommy," she finished.

"But who _is_ Tommy?" Sirius demanded.

"A deaf, dumb and blind kid who is really good at playing pinball," James explained. Remus threw up his hands in disbelief.

"Now I've heard everything."


End file.
